Look, I like beer. Heineken’s to be exact. I had to check the bottle to spell it. Yes, I’ve got some in front of me right now. I’ve got 5 kids and need some kind of way to unwind.
While I was on my way to the corner store to pick them up, I realized fuck! It’s Sunday and they’re here with me all day. If I don’t pick up something for them they will be bugging me for the rest of the evening and that defeats my relaxation time. Grocery store time it is. I went in the store and got these little mother fuckers all the shit I could think of that they like so they would leave me a lone. My oldest is 17, they’re ok. Don’t worry.
I picked up cookies, snack cakes, stuff to microwave, all that crap that they tell you your kids shouldn’t have. Yes I did! And I’m not sorry for it, cause that means I’ll get a few hours of peace.
I pulled up in the driveway, grabbed my beer and left the rest for my kids to get out. They come out and happily bring it in the house and begin putting it away. I tell my oldest “did you see all the things I bought?”. He confirms that he did. Then I said ” do you know what that means?” And his reply was “Yes, leave you alone,” I love my kids.