Extra Extra-Happy Mothers Day

This is the happy mothers day shit they forgot to mention or just didn’t tell you about edition.

I have been a mother for a VERY VERY long time, 19 years to be exact so really its 20+. I have raised my son sense I was 15 years old and to be honest I think I have done a damn good job.

But I have to say there have been many a WTF moments where I have had to consult with my besets Bg and say

“umm you know what!!!!” This some BULLSHIt!

 

* The miracle of mother hood begins in your heart and mind and grows and pushes forth in our actions. We are mothers those of us who gave birth through the womb or through the heart and arms. We are all mother equally.

 

1. You are never sure. This shit is easy yet hard. Each child is different and some of them you won’t like at some point.
2. Their cute wears off and sometimes they never have cute. I have seen some UGLY babies, NOT mine but I seen them

3. Them fuckers (kidlets) are hardy damn near indestructible it seems, but they are not.. They are sponges and need to be twisted out adequately or they get mold.. Im just saying lol.

4. They tell all your fuken business so watch what you say, they are listening.

Example, “I seen my mommy and daddy having sex last night” Said my kid at 5 to his day care provider.. Ummm we were kissing and laying on the bed. His explanation was that is what they do on tv and that is sex.. Umm yeah! Thanks kid.

5. Why didn’t someone tell me I would have HUGE blood clots After the baby would be born and that they fell out of you and looked like liver.. Umm yeah someone should have said something! Little bit of a warning.

6. Your body is amazing and its made to do this. It will morph into a thing of wonder and crazy interesting discoveries, just wait.

7. They are fast. I mean INSANELY fast. Their naps speed by like lightening speed! They grow out of their clothes and shoes over night it never lets up, they can eat thousands of dollars of food and have nothing to show for your money. They do NOT listen and often play deaf and dumb like a opossum/ostrich hybrid lol.

8. They are funny as fuck and will change your day from sunshine to rain even after they break your favorite what ever.

9. I yell, curse a LOT about every thing and everyone, I lose my temper and feed them all kinda shit.

10. For the most part we are equal….Bahahah yes I said it. Im learning my kids and they are learning me. I have given birth to 3 great kids and each of them are unique allowing me to love them uniquely and individually. This shit has no rule book or right way.

Happy Mothers Day gals appreciate yourself and value your worth. Being a mother (or not) is just one niche in our lives.

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