I will no longer remain silent. The invisible damages of Domestic Abuse. We don’t all carry our scares on the outside. 

I flew 3000+ miles to see my children a few extra days. 

My ex husband has said no. 


Because he’s mad. That’s the bottom line. Because he feels a need to punish me. Because he feels drunk on power. Because he doesn’t care about the well being of our children. 

Yet I have to prove this. I have to now prove I’m worthy to see my children. I have raised them for 20 years and now in less than 6 months im irrelevant. 

My children are now inaccessible to me. I have to fight and prove I’m their mother. I am black I have no lawyer. He is the police. I am now invisible and my children are the ones with no voice. So I’m advocating and asking for help. 

I’m a Social Worker and I know that there is strength in telling our stories. In seeking help. I didn’t want to tell how bad it was because I tried to minimize my situation and say it wasn’t that bad. 

But the truth is I am a survived of domestic abuse and my abuser is still actively abusing me. 

Because I have no bruses that you can see, doesn’t mean they are not real. My abuse is silent and dangerous. I will no longer remain silent.  


College Bound!

They said 20 years ago it would be hard but they forgot to tell me the rewards!

Today I stand in pride! My son is 20 years old and has been accepted to UCO!

He has

Never been arrested or detained nor questioned & No children. I grew up in a war zone of E.Oakland and at 16 I knew it would take much to keep him alive, but I wanted more for him and myself.

I have a masters degree the first in my family and now I have paved the way for their success!!!

Active Actions in our lives pays off! This is not by chance this is by DESIGN!


We all

Have the moments when we doubt
When we are fearful and wish it wasn’t us.
We all have the moments of despair

If you can hold on
If you can refocus
If you can gain control of YOU.

You will find yourself on the other side of the things you thought impossible.

A year ago I was living in another state, stressed and unsure of what and WHY. I made it though that year and now Im in a new state and my life is NOTHING like it was last year this time’

I am smaller in size, healthier again this year then each year before, I am solid in my worth and what I want out of this life. The ability to manifest my desires to fruition is a gift we all have, some of us just understand that it is all within us.

Practice makes us better.
I am a sinner, I am no saint and I don’t pretend nor claim to ever be. What I am is raw and really and funny once you pick yourself up from being confused and slightly confused.

This shit is real, this is not a practice run. Enjoy or Hide you kids, spouses, and friends I will fuck them up with my goodness…

Warrior vs Shame

Ok y’all, I just typed no prof-reading or changes. Every day I will journal its cathartic!

This is my place to be real. My place to tell you that I too going through the shit.

So I am going to share my life in its rawest and realist dimensions with y’all. Why not I am a warrior not function in shame.

I am dealing with domestic abuse from a partner.
I am a social worker
I am a mother
I am scared and often have panic attacks, often so many I just stopped counting
I am not a punk so despite my “anxiety” I fight to remember the TRUTH

I will not allow FEAR nor SHAME hinder me from my goals.

Oct 21st 2014 I moved to a new state. I had moved from Cali to Okc in Aug 2014 and although I loved it I was in a relationship that had been going on at that point for about a year. We were planning to get married 12/13/14 I moved and things were ok.. But not for long.

Listen this is not a horror story, I made a decision and thats all. By December I saw him for who he was clearly and declined. I spoke with him and we came to an agreement that the business that I came to NY to start would continue and we would remain friends. We continued to sleep in the same home and often the same Cali king bed, it’s only one in the house. We were not enemies.

Jan 21st I left the state and during that time I had to explain to my now ex of over 30 days that I am uncomfortable with your advances and how do we work this out. I am not going to have sex or provide emotional support/love to be safe.

I felt I was being pressured and I wasn’t sure he meant to do it.
I sent an email. He responded and said he understood..

I didn’t understand.
1 hour later the nightmare began and has not stopped.

I have been harassed, he has tried to evict me, he has stolen my identity and tried to sell it to someone to hack, he has used 3rd parties to harass me. He has done every thing BUT hit me and because he has not hit me I am treated as if I am the problem.

I swear if I hear ONE more person say “just leave” “why don’t you move” “he doesn’t have to take care of you” “You’re prolonging this / you’re contributing/THIS IS YOUR FAULT” One moregen Ill scream!!

I am being harassed and he is trying to victimize me. I LIVE HERE. all of my clothing and everything I own in my life resides at this address but because he is MAD I have to suspend my sense of reality and play crazy?

Because we are not married, because I declined, I am at fault?

If this was a business deal instead of my puss, life and body we would not be having this conversation. If I was doing have the things he is doing to me he would lose his mind.

I win. I am a warrior. I am not afraid. I will stand up for my rights as a person equal and covered under the same laws as he is.

I have a order of protection, please don’t ask me about the rude and condescending lawyers, police and other “helping” people that are supposed to assist me. I have contacted several places for assistance but I have no outer scares so I am told I don’t count…

I COUNT. I will not be silent in the face of danger I will not allow anyone to denigrate nor shame me for demanding I am treated with RESPECT.

We will talk tomorrow.. I needed this!

Unequivocally Unapologetic

Hey yall! Happy New Year and all the other holiday and what not non religious or religious good cheer and will. Take it as I am wishing you and your well, yeah, good.

K so I have to let y’all know what I have been up to. I have had some very good life changes.

1. I moved from California to Oklahoma and then from Oklahoma to New York City.

2. I am no longer a full time mom

3. I am happy

Yep I cant make this shit up so ENJOY!

Aug of 2014 I woke up and well I had had enough and I was #getting through the shit. I know enough with my training to get through something you have to change. Thats it, yourself, the environment, the situation. What ever, pick something and change it. So I did. I changed my perspective of myself. I started with me and I worked myself inside out. And to save a lot of dramatic BS Ill just tell you that I was ready to go. At any cost I was ready for a change and I was willing to do anything to gain it.

I sold everting I owned and what I could not sell I threw away or gave away in the matter of 3 weeks. I cleared my 1700+ sq. foot home and left driving a Dodge car, gray with every seat taken. My son 19, my daughter 3, my son 9, by BF and co author Tink. The car held every thing I now owned and loved the most. We drove for 2 days, and I started over. Did I mention I am almost 37. I have been a full time momma for 20 years.

My ex-husband began a custody battle and long story short over the next few months he has stated I kidnapped our children which gained him an order to return them to state. Once in state he petitions for custody and my children are now in his care and he is custodial parent. Now here is my thing, I have 2 options.




I choose acceptance. I choose to take advantage of my first time freedom. I have been a mother for 20+ years to 3 that I have given birth to and 3 more I birthed from my heart. I accept that life is not how we want it to be but rather how it is.

My children’s father felt so strongly within himself that despite 10 years of marriage, taking care of his kids, he now believed that I had stollen his children and that he needed to report this to the state. Stollen them and told him exaclty where I was taking them.

He believed them in so much danger that I could not and would not care for my children better then he would, along with his mother, father, my mother, my step mother, my aunties (2), my cousin, my 3 siblings and a smorgasbord of other folks… I won’t bore you any more, needless to say, I was so FLATTERED!!!! LOL

I hope yall read my sarcasm… Look I see right threw the BS. Most times you have to give people what they want even if they don’t know what they are asking for. (Think about the 10K bucks lol )

I have been given a golden ticket, a genie in a bottle! I have been given an opportunity of a life time! To be a child free adult! OMYGoodness! I think I might pee myself!

What most folks wont admit and I will. Parenting is not for PUNKS. I have sacrificed and given and done without by choice and not by choice. I have loved and encouraged my children and all off that BLAH BLAH BLAH. Non of that changes because of where I choose to reside. Period so yeah well. I am not apologizing. I am doing what I want to do, living a life that is…

Unequivocally Unapologetic

Its been a while.

I moved 1700 miles give or take a few and left my old life behind. I made the decision to move in about 3 weeks time start to finish.

I sold or gave up every thing that could not fit in the back of a dodge charger with 4 other passengers. Yes one bag each is about how it worked out. At some point the price of staying was not worth more than the rewards of leaving.

So I drove and along the way I met a man sitting at a gas station. He was older and he had an injury. We got to talking and I learned that he had experienced a really bad car accident 30+ years ago and he had survived but was left disabled. We talked and I found that just that day I had a reason to keep going. Yeah it wasn’t a revelation it was just a pit stop and one of many with a kid that is 4 and 9 and then 19 and 2 women.. Goodness

I have 2 small children and their father is active and wants to keep them. I have no issue with this in fact I welcome the opportunity for him to do it all and I get a break. I will have the kidlets on the holidays and breaks while he does school, sure sign me up!

That means I can travel during the off season!!! SCORE! Life is not perfect, shit happens. I was married for 10 years and shit happened and now well now life must go on!

I am in a new place doing new things and well, I can say that life is good.

I know you wanna look…. video of me HEY y’all! ;0)

I know you wanna see who is behind the words.. Well here is my half! Hey y’all! Im an all star! Don’t judge me and if you do tell me what you think! LOL

Wait a minute!! Don’t forget about me. I did my welcome too! Check it out.