I know you wanna look…. video of me HEY y’all! ;0)

I know you wanna see who is behind the words.. Well here is my half! Hey y’all! Im an all star! Don’t judge me and if you do tell me what you think! LOL

Wait a minute!! Don’t forget about me. I did my welcome too! Check it out.


29- Last summer

IMG_0279Last summer( 2013 ) I drove myself, and my 3 kidlets 3000 miles round trip in a seriously eco sized car(its a story you want to hear Ill tell you about it later)  to visit Bd and her family for some summer fun.. I do not have cable.. I have netflix and hulu I pay less than $20 a month for entertainment. So let me tell you that I was STUNNED shitless with the vast amount of info being regurgitated in varying ways through cable TV, now! It’s a info-fuckin-topia! I had cable before but let it go at least 3 year now, so my mind was on a joyous overload.  With the vast amount of info that I was consuming I felt like I was becoming a polarized genius and jack of all trades.

  • I watched season 3 of GOT  I started in the afternoon and well yeah.. I was up until the next Am.. I had about 3 hours of sleep and I was off to the races again.. I had already read the books I wanted to make sure they were keeping to the script.. ummhumm
  • Cooking shows make me giddy with joy. really really
  • the violence and sexual content is extraordinary.. its startling yet enticing.
  • the combination of food and sex has happened on tv in main stream! YES I didn’t miss it! Thank you to the calabo effort of Anthony Bourdain and CNN delic.

But heres the other side to that intoxicating coin! Cable is the devil!!

That fucker is an expensive habit not first but alone that is a reason!! Lets just tip into what a monthly damn cable bill ranges.  $19.99 – $300.00 or more.

Sooooooooo… just for you that are not quick on the math draw (which I am not).. Come with me you will see the bigger picture and you will see what that truly means. …. (imagine and hum Charlie and the Choc Factory Willy wonka 1970’s version as you now re-read above ;0) )

  • 1 year = $239.88 – $3,600
  • 2 years= $ 479.76 -$7,200
  • How about 5years=$1,199.40-$18,000

Here’s the thing. LESSON ALERT.

Now before anyone starts getting mad and crying or making a scene, ,<———YEAH You!!  This is for you!!! It’s ok this is personal and it will be a place to help make you into something new or piss you the fuck off.. either way, Keep reading. ;0)

STOP complaining about shit!

IF you say ANY of the following things or EVEN THINK them

  • Im broke
  • You say “I can’t” more than you can because of “money issues”
  • Money is tight but when is money not tight for you?
  • Bank account is empty or Your over drafter OR Your live on your overdraft YES YOU!!!  WE SEE YOU
  • You eat out every day of the week but have no food at home (Starbucks COUNTS)
  • Any bill is late
  • You don’t have a bill in your name… grrrr really!?!?!
  • You find yourself making groceries by picking up things from friends and families houses.

STOP COMPLAINING if you have fucking ANYTHING in your life that is beyond the necessities and you think, act, or say you have money issues or problems. Trust, cable is just an easy example of something we can touch and understand.

Here’s the thing.. Be brave and substitute cable for clothes, makeup, eating out, sex, drugs, books, a new watch, your hair getting cut every week or being  “done” by anyone that cost on a regular,  your nails and feet, a new gadget or shoes. Anything that is not a necessity to survive is not needed if your complaining. People only complain about things that they can change.

It’s not a sacrifice to not have cable or a big car it is FUCKING PRACTICAL. Think about it!?!?! Can you find a better deal or even an alternative? The answer is YES and without much work or effort! So WTF are you really complaining about and WHY?

This time last year were you complaining about the same shit you are this year?


Enter here


Raw truths are meant to free us

Haven’t we learned yet?

when we hide them, they just eat us.

They eat away at the who we are and try’s to pull us in many directions…

to places we never really reach..

Instead we struggle through

Thats what we say… But the truth is.. we travel to places we have no desire to be

only adding greater to the misery…

Then one day you say enough…

But only when you find brave..
Yes not fear..

you leave that travel guide behind

Hire Tenacity, love, peace, joy


Take a moment to quiet the loud

and think…


Imagine That? A simple shift

Perception is every thing!


5- I made Egg Foo Young today; shrimp, if you were wondering…

The house lady (aka maid/house keeper) came to me and said”I’m hungry lets eat Egg foo young. ” At with that one sentence my whole life changed. Lol Fuck no I am not joking egg foo young taught me some shit today and well I am going to share.

Take it for what you will. Pick it apart, touch it and taste it, enjoy the oddity of my existence. I do. And I adore egg foo young.

I will say this up front. I appreciate your support I gives 2 fucks about your opinions, but I still might find it tantalizingly interesting or fucking weird, but either way when I am done listening I dump and walk away, lol. For those that didn’t get it from above. What I am saying is if this place is not to you’re liking remember how you came in that is also the exit. I am unique and I fill a niche, I am not for you and I wish you continued success along your journey

For the rest of y’all Stop laughing and ROCK ON! smooches

Ok now! First I love FOOD! I cook, I am cook, I own an underground restaurant, I love food, really really love food. The reason I love food is for many reasons. Some of them raw and real, I have been hungry and I have lived without food. I know what it is like to have to choose between a bill and feeding my child; or my child eating and not myself. Or even younger, not having food because there really wasn’t any. Why? well because my mom had been gone for what could be unexpected drugcations.


Drug+Vacation=Drugcation: Defined as a period of unexplained loss of time where a drug user disappears in a magical state of dug induced euphoria, that only the drug user and their special friends exist in. This period of time varies and can lasted from minutes to as long as life times… Durgcations can be caused by any type of addiction; drugs / alcohols, person,place or things, or thoughts and ideology that allows us to lose balance and fall on either side of fence to harshly.  Hey this is my world! I am a therapist by training and well you’re here for a reason. Pick it apart and breath.


The other side of my love of food is that my dad was in the Air Force and we traveled a lot! I had the wonderful experience of sitting at many tables because my father was also a Chaplin and people fucking LOVE to feed the fuckin preacher and his family. To be kind and polite I had been taught, RATHER HARSHLY:


Raw think grinding on my foot with the heel of his shoes, pinching my arms/legs/neck. Verbally abusive, flicking my nose with his fingers, punching, slapping, chocking.. Those are all the incidents piled together but they are just words. They don’t describe a man who was treated 1000 times worse so to his eyes he was a loving, caring, involved, father. He was STERN. He was a christian who loved his child with a rod. He loves me and loved me the best way he knew how.. That doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt even if I do not blame him. In fact I love him more. I love him for trying and being there I love him for teaching me how to strive to learn more to do better to be better. NO one is perfect NO one is without faults NO one is not growing and changing.. It is in the moments we forget that lesson the lesson of humanity=empathy; that slippery slope cuts us deeply…

Brene Brown :Listen to this Ted Talk.


Ok I love food also because when you sit with someone you are no longer enemies. You are not expected to be immediate friends but you are showing a form of openness and vulnerability.

Food is a gateway to happiness in my world. I enjoy the deeply rooted love and stories that are often found in the sharing and exchange of food.

I also love to read and well whats better than a cook book? Well sense I asked!!  Books that talk about food and travel. OR WAIT even better still!!! Food, travel, sex!  If your interested in a tv version try Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown: Season 2: “Tokyo” OMy yes.

I am kinky to boot; no its not that shady shit; I have NOT read it.  We will chat about it, 1 thing I aint is shy.

As I cooked egg foo young today; it was the first time; and that is rare for me. I have eaten a lot of egg foo young but I am not sure why I have never made it up until today. I like it a LOT. It is the dish I judge a restaurant on. AND IT IS NOT AUTHENTIC I KNOW but I still love it.

I love that what it really is, is an omelet and ever culture has one. I made mine today with eggs from my own chickens. The first pancake turned into scrambled eggs. We ate it to make sure it was not poisoned and to check the flavors. I had twinked the ENTIRE recipe from googled from Rachel Ray, really only using it as a good blue print on techniques. By my 5th cake I felt like a pro! My sauce could use some work but I twinked that and will twink it again next time.

I say this to say; It was a success I was the fuckin best I had EVER done and I am proud. I feel that way often in life and I am doing my damnedest to make it automatic instead of saying often. What I strive for I achieve. I strive for my best every time and every time I meet it, no matter what the results and how others may judge them.

You find the blue print and twink it, make it your own and of course that goes for the omelets too. ROCK!